I first asked my husband to try swinging with me about two and a half years ago. His answer at the time was a firm no.
It wasn’t because our sex life was lacking. In fact, we had a pretty good one. Luke is exceptional in bed and always makes a real effort to satisfy me. He’s never been shy about trying new things — toys, restraints, and plenty of other suggestions have all made their way into our bedroom over the years. But I get bored easily, and I’ve always craved novelty. Eventually, I realised that no amount of new toys was enough for my ADHD, dopamine-craving brain.
Another big factor behind my curiosity about swinging was my bisexuality. I’d always known, at least mentally, that I was bisexual, but I had never really explored that part of myself beyond the occasional kiss or touch when I was younger. Part of me quietly worried that I had somehow made it all up — that maybe it only existed in my imagination.
I fantasised about being with women and watched lesbian porn, but I couldn’t shake the nagging thought that if I ever had the chance to actually sleep with a woman, I might not enjoy it. And if that happened, it would somehow prove that I’d been fooling myself all along.
I wanted to know the truth about myself.
Luke and I have been together for twenty-four years, and throughout all that time, my devotion to him has never wavered. I love him deeply. But alongside that love was a growing curiosity — a quiet craving for the excitement of something, and someone, new.
If Luke had always said no to swinging, I would have accepted it. His love means far more to me than any sexual experience ever could. But I know I would have always wondered what it might have been like — to be with another woman, and to explore the world of swinging together. I suspect I would have carried that curiosity, and maybe a little regret, forever.
This is simply my perspective on our story.
Read with an open mind… and a little imagination.
August 2025
Every time I asked, he said no. I tried not to let frustration take over, to accept his decision with good grace, and to focus on my love for him rather than the sexual cravings I had that he was unable to fulfil alone. I had a drawer in our bedroom that we referred to as our ‘sex drawer’ that was overflowing with sex toys — dildos in different sizes, vibrators in all colours, anal plugs, lubricants and more. I was trying to fill the gap in my sexual needs with plastic. Luke always put one-hundred per cent effort into our activities, as did I. We already had a better sex life than most married couples with over twenty years of marriage under their belts, something I was grateful for. And more than that, we had a solid marriage too. Not because things have always been easy, but because we’ve had years of strife and hardship in our marriage, which we worked extremely hard to overcome, working together to solve our issues and hanging in there even when things became so bad that many other couples would have given up. It taught us to be selfless and love each other with an intense, deep-seated certainty that created a solid foundation for our relationship.
After a year of asking him to give swinging a chance, I gave up for a while. It was clear he wasn’t ready for it, and I didn’t want him to resent me for talking about it every few months. We went about our lives as usual, and I tried to push my needs deep, deep down inside where they could not harangue me. However hard I tried to ignore them, they crept up into my subconscious, making me feel sexually frustrated. But more than this, they made me feel like something was wrong with me. Luke was fabulous in bed and always ensured I came before he did. Why could I not be happy with that? It made me angry that I couldn’t be a good wife and just be happy with my lot, especially since my lot was better than that of many others in their long-term relationships and marriages. At least, that’s what I believed from hearing stories about partners cheating, not enjoying sex with their partner, or not wanting sex at all anymore.
It was July 2025, and we were looking for a new series to watch together. I came across the third season of ‘Open House’ on Channel 4, with many of the episodes free to stream on the app. Luke seemed apprehensive about watching it with me, probably worried that I would begin asking to try it again. I wouldn’t pester him, but I secretly hoped the programme would excite and inspire him, and we settled in to watch it with the kids in bed and out of the way. We watched the first two episodes back to back, and just as I’d hoped, we were both turned on. We ended up having an excellent shag on the sofa, semi-dressed and breathing heavily with excitement. We watched several episodes a week after that, almost always finishing the show feeling turned on and ready for more sexy fun. But more than just turning us on, it gave us a peek into the lifestyle that I was desperate to try. With each episode came a discussion about the couple's situation, their feelings and how they handled it, and what we would have done in their shoes. It opened up dialogue that had previously been closed, and allowed us to talk about the forbidden fruit of sex outside of marriage.
We had just finished our last episode of the season, and we had spoken so much about the subject of swinging in depth over the last few weeks that I felt it was a good time to ask the question. “Luke, do you think we could try it? Visiting a swingers club, I mean?”, “Hmm, I’m not sure”, he replied, looking a little nervous. I wanted him to know there would be no pressure to play. “You have to think of it as visiting a regular nightclub. Everyone gets dressed up, enjoys a few drinks and listens to music. The only difference is that we would be in underwear instead of regular clothes, and we would probably see people having sex. We don’t have to get involved, we can just watch”. He thought quietly for a moment. I could see that my persuasion was working. “If we walk in and either of us feels uncomfortable and wants to leave, we leave, no questions asked,” I said, meaning it. I wouldn’t force him to stay if he was unhappy, but I thought it was worth paying a visit to experience it for ourselves, to at least take a look around to see what it was like. “So, no swapping or playing, just to have a drink and look around?” he asked, considering the idea. “Yes”, I replied, trying to stay calm. I could see he was on the verge of agreeing to go, and I didn’t want to scare him off with my excitement. “Like I said, we will probably see people having sex, but we don’t have to do anything. Although we could always have fun with each other. Apparently, there are private rooms with locks, so we could always have some time alone if we feel turned on”. He seemed to be okay with the idea of this, and nervously agreed. “Okay, book us in”.
After much research into places we could visit to begin our adventure, I booked us onto the guest list of a popular swingers’ club in Manchester. In the photos on their website, there was glow-in-the-dark paint all over the walls of the club with people in lingerie dancing, laughing and having fun, and it looked more like a sexy, modern night club than the seedy dark place I imagined it would be.
The way we agreed our first visit would go is this: we would treat it like a visit to a regular nightclub and enjoy a drink like we would in any other establishment. We would sit in lingerie or boxers instead of regular clothes, and that would be the only difference. If either of us felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave, then we would both leave, no questions asked. We could soft swap, and I was allowed to kiss and touch another woman, but no further. We had to move slowly and carefully with this new situation we were putting ourselves in to ensure we didn’t harm each other and our marriage.
I spent weeks deciding what lingerie to wear, looking for something that covered my stomach and breasts and didn’t show too much of my butt, but that was also revealing enough for me to fit in with the other club goers. I had lost almost four stone over the last two years, and had only been going to the gym regularly for a month before our visit, so I was still rather soft around the edges. I found a deep red coloured one-piece in semi-opaque lace that skimmed my body and hid the parts of me I was self-conscious of, whilst showing off my best assets. When it arrived, I tried it on immediately, praying that I looked good enough to feel confident. I hadn’t wore a sexy lingerie since my weight gain, and I was super anxious about wearing it again.
When I looked in the mirror, I felt pleasantly surprised to see that I nearly looked like my old self, the version of me before having my second child and comfort eating my way up to a size 18. I knew I looked good enough to feel confident in just this with a pair of heels, and I immediately felt excited about our club visit.
Saturday, 6th September, was our planned trip to the club. I have no idea how I slept well on Friday night. I had been a bag of nerves the entire time, equal parts excited and scared of the unknown. At 3 pm, I had an ‘everything’ bath. I shaved absolutely everything, washed my hair, and exfoliated my entire face and body. I moisturised from head to toe with scented lotion. I had prepared my nails, both fingers and toes, the day before. I dried and styled my hair to perfection, and applied my makeup carefully to show off my blue eyes and full lips. I fully enjoy the process of getting ready when I’m going somewhere, and this was no different.
Finally, I pulled on my new lingerie and heels and appraised myself in the mirror. I thought I looked good, not bad for a forty-year-old who’d had two kids and been through much weight gain and loss over the years. Just as I was finishing off, Luke came into the bedroom. His eyes widened as he exclaimed, ‘Wow! You look amazing!’ and pulled me into a tight hug, feeling my body through the lacey material and cupping my butt with both hands. I could feel him getting hard as his body pushed against mine, and as he tried to kiss me, I pushed him away. ‘I’ve just done my makeup, you’ll kiss off my lipstick!’ It wasn’t that I didn’t want his affection, but rather that I was so nervous that I almost didn’t want to be touched. Ironic, considering where we were heading that evening. However, I know once we were there with a glass of wine in hand, I would feel calmer.
The car ride was excruciating; both of us were so nervous you could feel the tension mixed with excitement like a physical force. After thirty minutes, we finally turned left into a small industrial estate. The club was on the right-hand side of the road, across from what looked like a car repair business. There were a couple of men standing outside the garage doors watching us with beady eyes as we parked up and walked to the club entrance. I felt embarrassment mixed with defiance as I made brief eye contact with them both, quickly marching towards the locked doors of the club. The doors were padded, pinned into a quilted diamond pattern with black PVC material and a large diamanté in the crevice of each one. I pressed the buzzer and was met with a crackly voice through the intercom. ‘Push the door!’ it shouted, and as we pushed through the large padded door, we were greeted with an amazing sight. Every inch of the walls was covered in sexual artistry using UV paint. It glowed in neon, depicting women's faces during orgasm, breasts, genitals, Fake Taxi, and a woman in a BDSM mask with mascara and tears down her cheeks. We walked up the staircase to the little booth at the top and were greeted by a woman in her 50’s dressed in latex. She checked our ID cards and took the non-members couples fee from us, handing us clean white towels and a locker key. She buzzed us through the second door (security is tight!) and arranged for us to have a tour. But not until we had ‘dressed down’, meaning all clothes off apart from lingerie or naked with the towel wrapped around the lower half. Shoes could stay on.
The changing rooms were split into two halves by a wall - single males on one side and couples and single females on the other. It was a small space with around 50 lockers on our side, with a large mirror and shelf on one wall for checking yourself in before stepping into the main club. It was a strange feeling to be in a public space to change, knowing that a strange man could walk in and see me semi-naked at any time. But I knew what I was here for, and I shrugged off the discomfort, telling myself not to be stupid. There was no point in feeling shy.
One of the evening's hosts greeted us as we came out of the changing rooms into the main bar area of the club. He was very helpful and friendly, showing us around the premises. There was the main bar area with a dance floor and dance pole, with seating all around the room. The couple's room next door was currently closed for refurbishment. He took us down the corridor, where there was a private room with an internal lock on the door for privacy. It contained a large waterproof bed, blue roll, and a disinfectant spray. Downstairs, there were a further three private rooms of varying sizes, all with the same blue roll and disinfectant. There were two public play spaces where you could either watch or be watched, and a dungeon complete with a sex swing and places to bend over to be spanked and fucked. This was also open to anyone who wandered in, no door and no lock. As we were taken around the venue, my eyes were wide, and I could feel a small bubble of panic in my chest. I pushed it down and refused to allow anxiety to ruin this experience. I was determined to enjoy the evening and have fun with Luke. If he knew I was anxious, he might want to leave, and I didn’t want that to happen.
After the tour, we each had a small cup of wine, which was served in plastic wine glasses, and found a seat away from the main dance floor next to the pool table. We had purposely arrived as soon as the club opened so that we could become accustomed to the place before others arrived. However, two men had arrived before us, and one of these men approached us now. My eyes widened as I took him in. He was 6 feet tall, extremely good-looking, and very confident as he asked to sit with us. We talked for a while, and we explained this was our first-ever night out as swingers and therefore wouldn’t be playing with anyone this evening. Despite this, he bought us both a glass of wine and seemed happy to simply chat with us. As we spoke, I could see his eyes tracing my body up and down, focusing on my face, breasts and legs. I could feel myself getting turned on by the look in his eyes as he took me in over and over again, and found myself eyeing his body the same way he eyed mine. I had to remind myself that we said no to playing with men this evening as he offered one last time to join us in a private room. As we once again politely declined, he gracefully thanked us for our time and went off in search of other couples who might be game.
Emboldened by our encounter and feeling warm from the wine, I suggested that we take a walk downstairs to see if any play had begun. To our disappointment, there was no one downstairs at all except for a couple of single males floating about. The idea of being watched while taking Luke’s cock into my mouth entered my head and turned me on instantly. I suggested that we move to one of the beds near the dungeon, a partially hidden space with no doors that allowed passers-by to view the action if they walked through the nearby hall. Luke and I slid onto the bed, nervous but eager to touch each other. We kissed, and I started massaging his cock through his satin black boxers. I was aware that two men stood by the bed, watching us closely with growing excitement, and this spurred me on as I pulled Luke’s now hard cock out of his pants. I slid the boxers down his thighs and off his feet, throwing them to the side as I took him in my mouth, sliding my tongue up and down his shaft while gently stroking his balls. He asked me to sit on his face, and as I did so, he held the material covering my pussy to one side, plunging his tongue into my folds to massage my clit. As we worked each other into a frenzy, I could sense that more people had arrived at our bedside. Many of them were openly stroking their cocks, clearly enjoying our performance. One handsome man caught my eye and smiled deliciously, eyes filled with lust as he watched me swallow my husband's cock down to the hilt. I took him deep into my throat, over and over, causing him to moan with pleasure, his voice muffled as his lips were firmly pressed into my wetness. It was some time before I resurfaced for some air, wanting to feel his hardness inside me. But as I sat up, I realised with a jolt that the audience had grown exponentially, with easily around twenty men crammed into the small space. The closest of them had a huge penis and was massaging it while watching my face as I took him in. The large, all-male audience frightened me a little, and I jumped up, adjusted my lingerie and slid on my heels. Luke had lost his boxers, and the male with the huge penis picked them up from where they had fallen and passed them over, Luke thanking him with a nervous laugh.
Making our way back upstairs, I took stock of how I was feeling. There was disbelief at what we had just done, mixed with a huge hit of dopamine, leaving me on a high. Luke also expressed his feelings were similar to mine, and he was equally as giddy as I was. We reached the bar, ordering another small glass of wine each and took in the room. The number of couples had tripled, and more were still pouring in from the entrance. Luke was happy to sit back and keep ourselves to ourselves, but that wasn’t why we came, and I wanted to make connections with people. I wanted to ask them about the lifestyle, what brought them here, and if they had any advice for newbies. We spoke to several couples, all very lovely and eager to help. As nice as they were, we didn’t feel a sexual vibe from any of them, and being the extroverted woman I am, I wanted to flirt a little. I eventually needed to use the ladies' room and left Luke in the hall, where he began a conversation with another male who was also waiting for his partner to come out of the bathroom. The ladies' loo consisted of two toilet stalls and two sinks with a large mirror above, and as I stepped down into the room, one of the toilet stall doors swung open to reveal a woman wearing a sheer top, exposing her perfectly pert and beautiful breasts. She had short dark hair and a very attractive face, and I was immediately turned on by the sight of her. I smiled at her as we passed one another, and I made it my goal to seek her out and speak to her. I used the bathroom quickly, washing my hands in a hurry to go and find this attractive, pert-tittied woman. As I walked back out to the hall, I found Luke still chatting with the same gentleman. Much to my pleasure, the woman from the ladies' bathroom was sitting next to him. I sat on the other side of her, making conversation and joining in with the husband's chatter. The gentleman introduced himself as Paul, and the woman's name was Natalie, Nat for short. They were married and both very experienced swingers, usually on the lookout for a single male to play with her while her husband watched and joined in. Luke was telling them that it was our first-ever club visit and first time on the swinging scene. After much chatting, we said our goodbyes and moved back into the bar area. It was packed, with barely and where to sit, and I was feeling a little hyperactive. Not wanting to sit in the busy space, we made our way back downstairs, hoping to see an explicit display in one of the public play areas. There, in the main open bed area, was a woman on all fours, face towards the crowd. She was being finger fucked and massaged by her partner, her eyes closed as her body gently rocked back and forth, enjoying the sensations. We could barely see as there were easily around 25 single males crowded around the bed, cocks in hand, furiously masturbating. I found this intimidating and a turn-off, and so we made our way towards the dungeon. As we passed the largest private room, our new friends from earlier were also passing by. Paul spotted us and invited us to join them in the private room, pushing Nat towards the door. We followed them in, and as we went to close the door, several single males appeared, hoping to be invited in. We closed and locked the door behind us, blocking the horde of men outside. It felt safer and calmer in here, and I relaxed as I sat on one of the beds. This private room was the biggest one in the club, with two double beds split by a small walkway. Nat took up a seat on the bed next to me, while the husbands sat on the other, watching. We talked a little, sensing each other’s vibe, and feeling brave, I asked to kiss her. She moved onto her knees and gave a small nod. I copied her, moving onto my knees, and she brought her lips towards mine, hands lightly stroking across my body as I caressed hers. We stayed like this for a while, feeling myself hypnotised by her softness. For many years, I knew in my mind that I was bisexual, but I had never had the chance to explore this physically until now. Her shape, her skin, her hair, her face, all of it lit me up inside in a way I hadn’t felt before. I asked to touch her intimately, and she nodded again, leaning her back against the wall, pushing her hips forward, inviting me to place my hand on her covered pussy. I massaged her gently through her thong, feeling exactly where the nub of her clit sat. Her snatch was very warm, and I could feel the beginning of her wetness soaking slowly into the material, making it damp. She leaned forward and asked to touch me too, and so we both knelt facing one another, kissing, tongues stroking one another, hands cupping and massaging between each other's thighs. I lost track of time, not knowing how long we stayed like this, but I didn’t care. I was completely lost in the moment, thoroughly turned on, soaking wet, pussy throbbing. I desperately wanted to press my mouth against her wetness, needed to taste her on my tongue. I asked if she would allow me to go down on her, but she said no. Wanting to respect her boundaries and make her feel comfortable, I quickly said that was fine. We continued kissing and touching and I asked her to turn over onto her stomach, which she did without hesitation. I kissed and stroked her peachy buttocks, teasing her between her thighs. As my fingers worked, my mouth made its way up her back with light, sensual kisses, reaching her neck and making her moan in pleasure. I worked my way back down her body, licking and kissing as I moved, and reaching her smooth butt, I kissed and licked that too. I moved my mouth lower and lower, until it was dangerously close to her opening, still working her clit with my fingers, building up the tension in her body so strongly that eventually she couldn’t take it any longer. She suddenly reached down with her hand to rip away the material covering her pussy, inviting me in, desperate for my warm mouth on her snatch. I immediately pushed my tongue into her folds, tasting her wetness, revelling in it. I buried my face between her thighs, feeling her soft, smooth ass on my face, my mouth licking and sucking her clit, pushing my tongue into her opening and moving back to her clit. I worked her from behind for several minutes until she rolled onto her back, where I continued to fuck her with my tongue and fingers simultaneously. Our husbands watched, enjoying their own private lesbian fuck show. Luke, having never seen his wife with another person in twenty-plus years of dating and marriage, was particularly fascinated and turned on by the scene in front of him.
Nat sat up, asking me to lie on my back, and as I did so she placed herself on her stomach, face between my thighs. Lightly touching my pussy with her tongue, she carefully began to lick and tease, taking her time to build up the intensity of the experience. Not able to handle simply watching any longer, our husbands moved from the opposite bed and joined us on ours, Luke behind me and Paul behind Nat. Paul began to pleasure Nat with a vibrator he had carried with him, working her into a frenzy, causing her to fully embrace my snatch in her mouth and lick with passion. Luke, meanwhile, watched from above my shoulders. He later told me that it was in this very moment that he fully accepted what we were doing, that it felt right, and that he wanted more moments like this. It was liberating, mind-blowingly sexy, and the biggest dopamine rush either of us had had in a very long time.
Nat’s muffled moans continued as Paul held the vibrator to her clit. Eventually, he moved her over to the other bed, where he lay her on her back and began to fuck her hard. Seeing this, we followed, and as I lay next to her, she grabbed my hand. Luke stood at the end of the bed and pushed his cock into my opening, fucking me the way Paul was fucking Nat. I watched as Paul and Luke's hips thrusted, listening to Nat’s moans of pleasure as I involuntarily made my own. After several minutes, Paul pulled out of Nat’s pussy and hot come squirted from his tip, spraying across her stomach and tits. Luke followed suit a couple of minutes later, his hard cock ejaculating over my body, the creamy liquid pouring over my skin.
We eventually resurfaced from our private room. It had been almost three hours since we had entered, but it had felt like no time at all. We all went to clean ourselves up, and, realising how tired we were, we said our goodbyes, hugging and thanking them for the evening.
Walking out of the club was like stepping out of a completely different world and back into reality. It was 1 am, and the chill night air felt good on my face. We made our way back to the car, holding hands while quietly processing the evening in the privacy of our minds. The drive home felt a little surreal and was lightly edged with a hint of anxiety. I knew it was completely normal for couples who enter the lifestyle to go through this in the beginning, and so I pushed it to the back of my mind. We would talk deeply in the morning.
Arriving home, we showered and snuggled into bed, spooning. I slept heavily without dreams.